by late August, i was not so enthralled with my job. i had been hired to provide Library Services to Teens–some pretty great Teens, mind you. HDPL had a specific Young Adult Area, one of, or maybe the first, in the State. they made themselves out to be forward thinking, progressive.
they lied.
i think i was most upset with the treesap-slow pace at which everything moved. but, as in most libraries, there were bullies that strongarmed staff until they got what they wanted, there were staff that just didn’t want things to change, and there was red tape. i don’t officially do well with red tape. my drum corps days taught me to go directly to the person that can help you when you need things. i had never been taught chain of command, and HDPL was mired in it.
i was full of ideas for improving services, programs, attendance, you name it. i learned my craft from people who were Very good at their job, and i thought i’d been hired to bring that training to HDPL. thinking back, i now believe i was hired to prove that HDPL was not ready for or interested in the work of serving underserved populations. live on status quo!
i started getting more vocal about the deficiencies at HDPL, and people started snipping about it. my supervisor was ineffectual, one coworker felt i threatened her chokehold on the department, and others just weren’t as willing to put up the fight as i was. the frustration was unbearable. i was having crying fits at my desk. all of a sudden, my world was filled with back-stabbers and naysayers.
and the whole time i had 30 or more teens knocking on my desk every day. coming to see me, talk to me. listening to me tell them that together we could make HDPL a better place for them. counting on me. great kids. smart, fun kids that deserved great service.
this wasn’t what i signed up for.
