how do you recover from being dumped over the phone–from 2000 miles away? Thursday, July 10 2008

apparently, Sex in the City and cookie dough.

I called my very dear and always supportive friend Leona and told her what had happened.  Of course she responded, “Thank God! He didn’t treat you right anyway.”  Now, Leona had only met Dennis once, but like many others, had heard my stories.

randomly, i think we all know that women are much more vocal about the bad things their men do.  unless there’s jewelry involved, i suppose.  but Dennis had often fallen victim to people not liking him because of my bad stories.  women should share more good stories.  especially if you have even the smallest desire that your friends like him.

Leona took me to Red Rocks, then to a casino, and then back to her place for a Sex and the City marathon and a lot of cookie dough.

then there was the aftershock. Thursday, July 3 2008

i can’t say that i, personally, had known depression before i got fired from HDPL.  though i’d watched Dennis struggle for years, i didn’t realize the grip it could have.  i thought i’d find another job, i thought Dennis would move out to Vegas, and i thought my life would move on.

i called Dennis on a Saturday morning.  early.  i’d gotten into the habit of sleeping all day and touring casinos all night.  that particular morning he was unpleasant and demanding.  he asked how many men i’d talked to and what i did all night.  he went on and on about how i shouldn’t have moved out to Vegas and how it was corrupting me, how he had no idea what i was doing with myself.  i told him that i was tired and that we could talk later.  then he dropped the bomb:

“I can’t do this anymore.”

you know what that means.  he was barely emotional.  he said that it was too hard, that he didn’t want to wonder about what i was doing, that it was just ‘time’.  he spoke for a while.  he asked me what i was thinking.  unlike my usual reaction (because, you have to keep in mind, we’d done this before), i didn’t cry, i didn’t beg, i didn’t even open my eyes.  i said,

“it sounds like you’ve made your decision.”

and i hung up.